Enjoy Not Knowing

Just another American living in Sweden


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the end of the school year

In 2014 I took an unplanned break from blogging. I got incredibly, surprisingly, busy. Upon my return I apologized, as one is want to do, and listed what it was exactly that was keeping me otherwise occupied. The end of the school year being one of those things.

Since 2014 I have concluded two other school years, that is to say here at pre-school we have welcomed the summer of 2014, 2015 and most recently 2016. Where I work we celebrate the return of the sunshine and warm weather in Sweden by singing songs outdoors. I find these songs to be particularly Swedish where the lyrics inevitably include flowers, swallows and mosquitoes. Because…what else?

2014 I was kept particularly busy as that was the school year I was with the group of children moving on to kindergarten after the summer. June that year was composed of many meetings, compiling documentation for the children and most memorably the quiet pang of nostalgia in my heart as I realized I would only very rarely see many of these children in the future.

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Receiving many thoughtful and kind presents was lovely, but I will hold most dear the letter I received from a small human whom I will always remember.

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I am happy that you have been my teacher.
You are a good teacher.
Hugs!

Coming to work daily and teaching the children left in our care is a wonderful privilege.

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four blogging years

Can you believe this?! Four years ago in January I started this little corner of the internet, and my have we come a long way.

4 years of blogging

I’ve posted 285 times. This post you’re reading now is the two hundred and eighty fifth time I have composed word followed by word to send out into the interwebs.

I have uploaded 796 pictures/collages and y’all have viewed my little blog 11,794 times.

Sunday at 9:00pm is my most popular day and time. I should probably start posting every Sunday, eh?

My top three visited posts/pages (aside from the home page) are:

  1. 25 before 25, published March 21st, 2012
  2. 5 years, published November 1st, 2013
  3. Book of December: James Potter, published December 31st, 2012

The top five countries who view my blog the most are:

  1. USA FullSizeRender (4)
  2. Sweden FullSizeRender (6)
  3. France FullSizeRender (8)
  4. Germany FullSizeRender (7)
  5. Canada FullSizeRender (5)

I want to say: Thank you! Tack så mycket! Merci! Dankeshön! And once again thank you! Without you my lovely readers this blog would be nothing.

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an ode to elizabeth

Otherwise entitled: Ode on Intimations of Running Immortality from Recollections of a Time When I Ran a Lot

There was a time when pavement, field and track,
Came up to meet my stomping feet.
Now looking back,
I’d not have survived without this treat.
Rip-stick thy name, carried via knapsack.
.
Received one summer’s eve, I believeth,
Amazing healing powers,
Disencumbers.
A true friend helping me to run, Elizabeth.

.

Inspired by Elizabeth, her amazing gift of the rip-stick, and William Wordsworth’s Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood. You know, the important things: friends, presents and William Wordsworth.

Seriously though, Elizabeth, that rip-stick you bestowed upon me but three years ago has been put to some seriously good use. Not only did it help me with my recovery when I did all that running that one time, but it’s also been used for the past three hockey seasons. This past season in particular it not only aided Evelina and I in our recovery, but also the rest of the team. So, thank you Elizabeth. SSK/Linden dam also thanks you. You’re so generous.

If you don’t already know what a rip-stick is, it’s this:

rip stick

You roll it along your aching muscles and it’s like giving yourself a massage. Also helpful in these efforts is a foam roller. This thing:

Foam roller

Both of these items aid in recovery. Or that’s what they’re said to do. And I tend to believe it. Another recovery/injury aid I use often, which Elizabeth also introduced to me, is KT tape. Or kinesiology tape.

Now’s as good a time as any to inform you all that I injured my shoulder in the last hockey game of the season. Without going too much into the dirty details, things are healing, but could also be better. The up side: I get to be professionally KT taped! Up until now I’ve been applying the tape myself, or relying on my kind teammates to tape me up. I’ve been pretty successful in these endeavors actually, but it doesn’t quite compare to a professional taping. My physio taped me up on Tuesday, alleviating a good amount of pain, and the tape is still sitting right where it should be! That’s quality care.

#mirrorselfie #shameless #killinit

#mirrorselfie #shameless #killinit

I know, I make this look good. Think good thoughts for my shoulder recovery!

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do you remember

Do you guys remember my first blog post ever? I certainly do. (And if you can’t be troubled to click that little link and read up you’ll get the gist of it anyway.) Not to say I can predict the future, but I totally can.

What did I say in that first post ever? That I didn’t want this to turn into 10th grade English class? Well, it has, my friends, it has. I am both behind on my reading and my writing. Although this time it is all self-inflicted, it seems to matter all the same.

Side bar: Does this mean I actually enjoyed 10th grade English…if I keep bringing myself back there…? What would Freud say?

Anywho. What I feared would happen has happened. I have promised many a promise and post, and have yet to deliver. I’m here today to tell you about ALL of the posts I’ve said I’d post. (And haven’t yet.) In list form of course, I love lists. I’m going to Tarentino this bad boy and start at the end…which is really the beginning:

Let’s start with 2012:
In a post entitled things i’ve been up to I’ve listed a list of things I had been up to (as my listy list suggests) the following is what has yet to be written about.

  1. Celebrating birthdays
  2. Visiting Spain part 3
  3. Last week at my job
  4. Working out
  5. Gardening
  6. Trying out DIY stuff off of Pintrest
  7. Germinating lemon seeds, trying to grow avocado and hoping my pineapple bush won’t die
  8. Riding motorcycles
    .

Moving on to 2013:
If you check out my book of the month list for 2013 you’ll notice a few things. First, both June and August have yet to be posted. These are now, seriously, delayed. If you were to start clicking on some of the links you would notice a couple rather incomplete posts. These are the, soon to be more complete, BOTMs coming to a screen near you:

  1. February – Läroplan för förskolan Lpfö 98 by Skolverket
  2. April – Godnatt, Alfons Åberg by Gunilla Bergström
  3. June – The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
  4. August – Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
    .

In October I mentioned my own personal troubles getting on SJ trains, and promised a future story.

Also in 2013 I made five New Year’s resolutions. Two have yet to be completed:

  1. Paint a painting
  2. Find a lasagna recipe Evelina likes as much as I do
    .

Finally, 2014:
A trend has started, and I have yet to post the following BOTMs for 2014.

  1. March – Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
  2. April – The Flame Alphabet by Ben Marcus
    .

In January I talked about throwing a sun party, if you’re curious how that went, stay tuned.
In March
I mentioned lördagsgodis, a future explanation is clearly on its way.

I also wrote a post only a few weeks ago expressing my regrets in my absence from writing. There I listed the following future posts.

  1. Wrapping up my Swedish as a Second Language course
  2. Running like a mad woman
  3. Travelling across the Atlantic
  4. Hosting a friend
  5. Party planning
  6. Taking my driver’s test
  7. The end of the school year
    .

As I’m sure you realize, this is quite the list, but it actually doesn’t include it all. I will also be updating previous posts, and editing and fine tuning what needs to be edited and fine tuned. If you like math you will see that this totals 26 up and coming posts.

This whole idea, posting all of the things I’ve said I’d write about, can be found on my 30 before 30 list, number 14. I know I’ve been talking about this for a year, but I feel new motivation coming on. When I’ve posted all these posts I’m hoping my blog will have a more complete and cohesive feel. That I can actually pretend that I have a bit of focus and thought behind what I do. I like pretending.

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delayed gratification

The last ”real” blog post I wrote, had the title: semlor, and why I’ve been away. I put real in “bunny quotes” because the book of the month posts are a little outside of your “daily programing” so to speak. Not that BOTM isn’t reall. It is. But those more recent few posts were also lacking a little something extra. (Except the one about The Giver  – that’s some good stuff.)

Side bar: I put “bunny quotes” around “bunny quotes” because I was quoting Gloria from Modern Family. Then I used them around “daily programing” because it’s not actually daily programming, because I’ve never posted daily. And now I’ve hit my quotation mark quota for the blog in just two paragraphs!

Anyway, my brief absence last FEBRUARY (good grief it really has been that long) is nothing compared to my now lengthy absence from my beloved blog. I wish I could also blame this on a food coma. Or a real coma. (More serious, and less funny, but my absence would then be completely understandable, right??)

Let’s get back to the point though. I’ve been gone, but now I’m back! The fun has arrived people, the wait is over, I am HERE!

Seen here first.

Seen here first.

I have a strong feeling that I need to refocus my blog. Just the way I need to refocus my writing.

Get back to the basics.

Let’s Tarantino this bad boy.

There was the New Year’s post, and the things I’ve been up to post (irony aside), my 25 before 25 and the things to do in Sweden.

So my lack of writing clearly isn’t because of a lack of things to write about. I have things to say, people. My problem is finding the time to say it. Like I said at the very beginning of this bad boy, time never seems to be on my side.

But, as my dear friend Brian Andreas would say:

Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.

Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.

Side bar: “dear friend” is really just a saying here, unless you define “dear friend” as someone who stalks someone else’s instagram and checks up on their website daily. Which I hope you do not.

And I leave you with that!

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this week

“I have a friend who took all the doors out of his house one summer. It reminds me there’s nothing I have that’s worth hiding, he said. No secrets is the key to world peace. He put them all back on that winter. I decided it was peaceful enough for me, he said.”

– Brian Andreas

 

This week I’ve read some pretty heavy blog entries. Heavy stuff involving abuse, miscarriage, death, rage, blood, pain. It was all in there. This stuff is weighing me down. Makes me walk a little slower. Makes me think. Something that is resonant through these stories I have read, though, include the opposite side of life. Resilience, healing, strength, forgiveness, continuing, love. These things show through. Make me lighter. Allow me to turn my face to the sun and smile. Allows me to accept the warmth that is also in the world.

 

I admire these beautiful women for what they have shared on WordPress of late, and it reminded me of the Brian Andreas quote above.

If you’re interested, here are the posts, however, if you’re already in a crummy mood, maybe just go for a walk instead: