Enjoy Not Knowing

Just another American living in Sweden


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why i wasn’t running

This weekend was the Eskilstuna quarter marathon. It has gone by different names, so for now I’ll call it å-varvet, since that’s what it was called at one point in time. If not currently. I’m not feeling up to checking. Feel free to do so and let me know.

This weekend I did not join the over 2,300 people running the quarter marathon because of my shoulder injury. (Yes, I looked up that number, and yes, this year it was called å-loppet, so that’s all cleared up.) Unfortunately I have yet to be cleared to run. As you may recall from my Ode to Elizabeth I have injured my shoulder playing hockey, and it has taken a while to heal up. Either it has taken a while or I’m incredibly inpatient. The physical therapist I met with last Thursday would have me believing the latter. He really emphasized the fact that this type of shoulder injury will take time to heal.

Time heals all wounds.

Blah-de-blah-blah. Sure, whatever. I’m ready to be healed now. I know I can’t be the only person to think this, but when ever I’m injured. Or have a paper cut or something. All I can do is focus on the injury. Imagining the sweet good ol’ days pre-stubbed toe, for example. I wallow in the fact that when I’m whole and healthy I never appreciate it. I mean really appreciate it. I squander away my days it pain-free ignorance of how good I have it. Then I scrape my knee or accidentally slice open my thumb while trying to be a good wife and cook dinner for once, and I’m once again wallowing in self-pity land, reminiscing on how good I had it just yesterday before I sliced through half my thumb nail.

What I’m getting at is I really wanted to run on Saturday. The medals had a purple ribbon this year. Purple guys! But I couldn’t because it hurts to run. And according to my physio I’m not allowed to do anything that hurts me. Clearly I’m paying these medical professionals appropriately for some great counseling here.

å-loppet

Guess I’ll have to wait for next year until my two medals can become three, and I can attempt to check off number 13 on my 30 before 30 list. Knock on wood.

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an ode to elizabeth

Otherwise entitled: Ode on Intimations of Running Immortality from Recollections of a Time When I Ran a Lot

There was a time when pavement, field and track,
Came up to meet my stomping feet.
Now looking back,
I’d not have survived without this treat.
Rip-stick thy name, carried via knapsack.
.
Received one summer’s eve, I believeth,
Amazing healing powers,
Disencumbers.
A true friend helping me to run, Elizabeth.

.

Inspired by Elizabeth, her amazing gift of the rip-stick, and William Wordsworth’s Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood. You know, the important things: friends, presents and William Wordsworth.

Seriously though, Elizabeth, that rip-stick you bestowed upon me but three years ago has been put to some seriously good use. Not only did it help me with my recovery when I did all that running that one time, but it’s also been used for the past three hockey seasons. This past season in particular it not only aided Evelina and I in our recovery, but also the rest of the team. So, thank you Elizabeth. SSK/Linden dam also thanks you. You’re so generous.

If you don’t already know what a rip-stick is, it’s this:

rip stick

You roll it along your aching muscles and it’s like giving yourself a massage. Also helpful in these efforts is a foam roller. This thing:

Foam roller

Both of these items aid in recovery. Or that’s what they’re said to do. And I tend to believe it. Another recovery/injury aid I use often, which Elizabeth also introduced to me, is KT tape. Or kinesiology tape.

Now’s as good a time as any to inform you all that I injured my shoulder in the last hockey game of the season. Without going too much into the dirty details, things are healing, but could also be better. The up side: I get to be professionally KT taped! Up until now I’ve been applying the tape myself, or relying on my kind teammates to tape me up. I’ve been pretty successful in these endeavors actually, but it doesn’t quite compare to a professional taping. My physio taped me up on Tuesday, alleviating a good amount of pain, and the tape is still sitting right where it should be! That’s quality care.

#mirrorselfie #shameless #killinit

#mirrorselfie #shameless #killinit

I know, I make this look good. Think good thoughts for my shoulder recovery!

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four. run a marathon

This is another item on my list that I, unfortunately, haven’t completed.

The incompletion of this item was a really difficult decision for me to make, but in the end I believe the right one. I signed up for the Stockholm Marathon, which occurred yesterday. I really enjoyed the training at first. My brother was here visiting, and it had been so long since I had run regularly, it was great getting into it again. Then, April and May rolled around. About mid April I started to get really busy. Guys, I’m saying R.E.A.L.L.Y. busy. I’m of the opinion that there’s exactly enough time for the important things in life. But, what it came down to for me, was that it was much more important for me to be happy than for me to complete my training.

A combination of international travel, getting a couple poorly timed colds, over use injuries in my ankles and hip, more intensive studying, and the busiest time of the year at work just made it unenjoyable to train on top of all that. What it really came down to in the end, as I wavered between resting until marathon day and trying to get in a few more runs, was the fact that my hip just wasn’t up to it. I couldn’t physically run for more than two hours. This made attempting to do so very unenjoyable. I took a long hard look at what I was prioritizing, and decided not to prioritize running. I needed to let my body heal and let my mind rest before I embarked on this task again.

photo (2)

A part of me wanted to try it out. Especially come race weekend. Just go and see how it goes. But I know myself too well for that. If I had gone, and gotten my number, excitedly awaiting the start with thousands of other runners, I wouldn’t have been able to stop. Even if my body was telling me to. Even if my hip hurt more than I imagined possible, I would have continued. That would have been a poor choice, inevitably resulting in more severe injury.

I love running. Like really love it. I think it’s one of the best forms of exercise, and we as humans have been doing it for a long, long, looooong time. I still hope to complete a marathon during my time here on earth, I just had to make the difficult choice of not completing that goal before my 25th birthday. (30 before 30, anyone??)

To be honest, I’m satisfied with the choice I’ve made. upset that I lost that entry fee, and didn’t reach my personal goal. But satisfied none the less.

Onwards and upwards.

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here’s what i won’t say

On Tuesday I burnt myself. With leg waxing wax. Burnt my thumb, to be specific. But. I’m not going to get into the gory details. Which I had fully planned on doing. I do want to say it hurt, like a…lot. (Or insert your favorite profanity here).

The reason I’m not going to wax rhapsodic about this, is because my little blog only has about 30 posts. One of which being about me causing injury to my person at work, one about an injury in my past, and one where I complain about my inability to bruise. This would then be the fourth post about my injuries, and suddenly over a tenth of all the information I’ve put on my lovely little blog is about me hurting myself. Before I know it this will just be a running tally of all of my injuries. When I go back years from now to read the clever and enlightening things from my past, all I’ll have is a day by day count of the crap I put myself through. That’s not the direction I want to take!!

Also, I feel this may give you, beloved readers, a skewed view of me. I promise I’m not actually this accident prone, and/or clumsy. Although now you’ll never believe that, so who am I trying to kid?

Myself, that’s who.

The only reason I bring this up, is that today, it is FINALLY sunny! All I want to do all day is bask in lovely rays of vitamin D, with lots of sunscreen (because no one wants a repeat of Spain….that’s for sure!! — What do you mean I didn’t tell you that story? Oh man! It’s a good one! You’ll just have to wait, I guess.)

Anyway, my question is, if I laze about all day in the mind and body warming rays of sun, can I re-burn my burn?? If I expose my burnt-from-hot-wax hand to UVA and UVB rays today, will it then become the burnt-from-hot-wax-AND-dangerous-rays-of-sun hand?? Because I think that’s just too long of a name for anyone to reasonably address my hand as such.