Enjoy Not Knowing

Just another American living in Sweden


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gender reveal party

Now, my avid blog readers will already know the ending of this story, but I’m gong to tell it anyway. The journey is the destination, man.

I don’t know if you’ve explored the baby side of social media recently, but according to that, gender reveal parties are all the rage. From the get go it sounded  to me like an awesome opportunity to eat cool colored cake, so I was in.

Gender reveal parties can be done one of two ways. Either a special someone is designated to find out the gender of the coming baby, keep that a secret from the couple and all other humans, and help make the appropriate color schemed surprise. Or the couple finds out the gender of the baby and no one else knows until the big reveal during the party. Evelina and I went with the latter option.

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After deciding that we needed to figure out how to do the big reveal. Pop a balloon filled with blue or pink confetti, open a present/box whose contents reveal the gender, be sprayed by our loved ones with the correct color of paint…the list is almost endless. We went with the tried and true method of cutting into a cake, and letting the cake do the talking.

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Now, for games and entertainment. A prerequisite of attendance was a specific dress code, everyone had to wear pink or blue, depending on which gender they thought the baby would be. When our guests arrived they were conveniently divided into two teams as determined by their clothing choice. Before dinner was served our guests could guess the baby’s name, by writing it on the appropriate colored paper. We also played a quiz game where Evelina and I had written questions about common superstitions about pregnancy symptoms that can reveal the baby’s gender. Each team answered the questions, and the winning team won the honor of being victorious.

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After dinner it was time for dessert, or as we say in Sweden, fika! Since Evelina and I knew the gender of our little one, we were the ones to order the cake to match, covered in white with the words “It’s a…” glazed on top. That evening our guests gathered round in suspense as we cut into the cake, finally revealing that we were expecting a little girl!

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get pregnant

Remember when I reverse bucket listed my 2015?

A few things on that list I haven’t written about. That’s what’s happening now.

In 2015 Evelina and I went ahead and got pregnant. For us it takes a little more planning than your average couple. I would like to share with all y’all the adventure we went on to bring our little baby K into the world.

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To get started we checked out our options in Sweden. In Sweden you can get three insemination tries for free (or included in their health care system). Going this route Evelina and I would find out very little about our donor. In Sweden they try to match eye color, skin color and hair color of the parter of the woman trying to get pregnant. The deciding factor for us (why we didn’t go this way) was because we would not be guaranteed that the same donor would be available for our possible future children. It is important for *us* to be able to guarantee (to the best of our abilities) that any possible future children will have the same donor. (Key word there being us, many other people chose different options depending on their life situations.)

Once we ruled out the Swedish option we looked around at our other options. This included contacting insemination offices in Denmark, Norway and the US. All these clinics actually use an international donor bank (pretty crazy) so the same donors would be available to us regardless of the clinic.

During the actual insemination process we had to be able to get to the clinic on the drop of a dime. The clinics also say that within three tries most people become pregnant, so if we had chosen a US office we would have had to be there for up to 3 months, so we ruled out using a US office. We ended up deciding to go with the Norwegian clinic after a few e-mail exchanges and going in for a consultation. We were really pleased with the service we received while there, as well as the size of the offices in general. Norway was actually also the fastest option for us, as in we could get there the quickest when it was go time.

At our consultation we learned all about the finer details of what the process would look like in our specific situation. They were so great and informative. Once we had decided which clinic to use we scrolled through the online profiles of the donors. Which is actually pretty easy to do once you enter a few parameters you know you are looking for. After deciding the donor it was all a waiting game, which ended abruptly on Midsummer’s Eve last year. GO TIME!

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Of course we flew Norwegian

Scrambling around the apartment packing and buying plane tickets, before we knew it we were in the air on our way to bring the tiny life that has now become our charmingly beautiful baby girl into the world.

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