This week I was put on the task of assembling IKEA furniture at work. Let me explain. We’re expanding, renovating and opening new wings. This means beautiful new locales. Which are completely empty. Empty space is less ideal for entertaining small children, I’m not saying it’s impossible, just less ideal. Not much fun for little Harpo.
Which brings me to my task: assemble 41 chairs from IKEA. Sure.
The up side: I am now an expert on assembling IKEA furniture (I figure I can extrapolate my knowledge to be all encompassing).
Here are my top three tips for your next IKEA adventure:
- While hammering, keep your eye on the prize. Do not look away, or your thumb will pay the price.
- I don’t care what the genderless little drawing says, use a drill, not a screwdriver. Your wrists will thank you. On the other hand if there are two genderless little drawings, bring a friend. It’s worth it in the end.
- Finally, practice makes better. Not perfect, your final item will never be perfect, that option was taken from you with the reduced price. What I’m saying is, buy 41 of whatever you need. The 41st time you assemble your new IKEA item, it will be so near perfect you’ll think you should enter the IKEA olympics, category: speed assembly, subcategory: high accuracy. (I’m pretty sure IKEA olympics is a thing.) Next time you need a new wardrobe, buy 41. The 41st time is the charm.
Trust me, I know.