Enjoy Not Knowing

Just another American living in Sweden


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book of october: how to be a woman

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

I love this holiday. Candy and costumes galore. What more could you possibly want out of a holiday.

Seeing as it’s Halloween, and that the last of the month is when I post my book of the month, this month I read a scary scary scary story in honor of the holiday!

Alright, you caught me. That was a huge lie. I do not think that far in advance. Sometimes I try to think in advance, but it never seems to happen how I plan things. So I’ve stopped with that.

This month’s book of the month is How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. It is absolutely hilarious. Not scary at all. Except for when she starts shouting at you about feminism. On second thought that wasn’t too scary. She was shouting though. . .

If you have the opportunity to listen to the audio book I highly recommend it. She has an English accent, which makes the book approximately ten times funnier. You get to hear her say delightful things in her English accent such as:

  • Fuckadoodle
  • You just haven’t taken enough MDMA in a field at 3am love

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If you read this book you will also get to learn fun and interesting things like:

The minimum you should ask of your footwear:

  1. That you can dance in it.
  2. It doesn’t get you murdered

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Things you actually need in your handbag:

  1. Something to absorb HUGE quantities of liquid.
  2. Eyeliner
  3. Safety pin
  4. Biscuit

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How to take care of a baby:

  1. Put it in a cardboard box and eat tinned hot dogs.

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That’s all you get, because you should seriously go read this book for a good laugh. And if you want a really good laugh you should listen to Moran read it to you.

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happy birthday dad!

 

 

 

 

I love looking back through pictures of my family. Pictures from when I was alive, and from when I had yet to be born. Not only to gawk at the absolutely wonderful clothing and accessory choices of my family through the years. (I have yet to understand the meaning of glasses that go down low enough to allow your cheeks to see clearly – but knowing fashion that’ll probably be “in” again next week. Cheeks have the right to prescriptive lenses too.) But also to hear the stories told by my parents, aunts, uncles, and my grandmothers (when I was lucky enough to have them).

Pictures are memories. They remind us of who we were and where we’ve come since the photo was taken. Pictures show us our history. I guess oil paintings do too, before 1826 – but do you really trust oil paintings? (Do you really trust photographs anymore either?) That’s neither here nor there.

The fact is a camera isn’t always handy. I haven’t had a camera available at every moment I would have wanted one. Maybe that’s not so important though. A camera can capture a scene, but does it always capture the feeling and emotion occurring? A camera can’t be relied on to remind us of every memory we have.

On this day, my father’s birthday, I’d like to share one of my earliest memories, that wasn’t captured on film.

As far as I can tell, my first memory was of being held by my father. Cuddled safely in his arms I was being fed milk. He stood with me by the kitchen sink, and I looked up at the, blurry with the passage of time, vision of lights above us.

While a short memory, it is one I often bring up with fondness. Over the years I have been carried by my father on countless occasions, and sometimes, when I’m really really tired I realize how good I had it when I was little. Carried up to bed after a long day of running around wildly.

Dad, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Sit back, relax, and rest that back of yours, I’m sure it’s tired after years of lugging us kids around.

Happy Birthday Dad! You’d better like the present I got you.


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32 hours in the air

Between the end of May and the end of July I had spent a bit of time in the air, flying about. I was thinking about this the other day, and by other day I mean in August. Yes, this is yet another insertion from the list of things I’ve been doing.

This is what my flight schedule looked like:

Stockholm → Madrid

Sevilla → Barcelona → Stockholm

Stockholm → New York City → Boston

Boston → Washington DC

Washington DC → Boston

Boston → Amsterdam → Stockholm

Nine flights in two months, that’s not so bad. Really it is. I cringe to think what my carbon footprint looks like. I choose to never think about it. And recycle a lot. I also choose to look at the silver lining. Just think what it will look like in 5 years. Or 10! I do plan on visiting my family across the Atlantic between now and then, at least a few times. (If they’re lucky – If I’m lucky I’ll be able to afford it.) So really, right now it’s not so bad that I fly all over the place. Just think how bad it’ll look in 10 years!!

I really hope the world decides it’s worth it to continue to reduce emissions…and also making flights faster would be excellent. Like this supersonic jet Aerion SBJ.

I would not mind making the cross Atlantic trip in four hours. Opposed to 20. (To be fair that is including a surprise 12 hour layover in Iceland…) What would be even better would be if the seats were cheaper.

And not that I’m against Airbus’s progress and future ideas (because they are talking about cheaper faster flights), but I may be the only person I know who would want to sit in the front row of this plane.

My brothers would probably sit with me, but that’s only because they’re equally as crazy. If not more so.


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hockey camp

I hope you all had a wonderful Columbus Day and/or Thanksgiving and/or regular Monday yesterday. Those are the only options, so it better have been one of those.

Remember that list of things I told you about. Well here’s another insertion from the “things I’ve been doing while I haven’t been blogging”.

Early this August Evelina and I helped out at a hockey camp here in town. It was a lot of fun to work with some boys (and two girls) on improving their performance both on and off the ice. (Sounds fancy. Reality: glorified babysitter.)

The first day we arrived at the rink at 9:10. Which believe me was a struggle after enjoying over a month of sleep ins. (Emphasis: it was a struggle for me – Evelina had been working all summer and was used to it – sucka!).

As we were waiting to start our first off ice with boys aged 10-13, a man, who we’ll call Smelly Von Buttface, stands off to the side, talking about how girls don’t have muscles. In all seriousness. This is his honest belief. What the what?!

Maybe this isn’t a good thing to say in front of impressionable boys, who play hockey with girls.

Maybe this isn’t a good thing to say in front of impressionable girl hockey players.

Maybe this isn’t a good thing to say before these boys and girls are going to go outside and follow the workout that girls have brought for them.

Maybe this isn’t a good thing to say within earshot of two girl hockey players who will be playing for the women’s team in your town for the entire next hockey season.

Maybe this isn’t a good thing to say within earshot of one particular girl who can both squat and bench more weight than you, Sir SVB. (We’re talking about Evelina here, let’s get real, we all know about my chicken legs. Orrr – you do now.)

Dearest Sir SVB, I’m not going to let this bother me more than it has. Your problems are something you should take up with your psychiatrist. You don’t have one you say? Maybe look into it. Just a suggestion. From a girl. Whose chicken legs can still kick you in the balls.

I will say that Evelina and I thoroughly enjoyed showing the guys and gals a little of what we do for off ice workouts during the summer. It was also great coming up with on ice practices.

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I will say that after just 3 days with us, some of the boys were complaining. They “just wanted to do something easy.” Because what these two girls with no muscles put together for them was just a little above their fitness level.

What do you think of that Sir SVB?


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13th year

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Time again to lace up each skate.

Done with off-season, no more wait,

It’s easy to get back in gear.

The time is nigh, this is the date.

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We’ve worked hard, so there’s naught to fear,

Our team is gathered, all are near.

Coming winter, we’re ready for,

The darkest evening of the year.

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Black and blue bruises, muscles sore,

Mean naught if we can tie the score.

Onwards and together we keep,

Knowing we can win, more and more.

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Twenty two to go, in it deep,

Team, as one, can surmount this heap.

A game to play before we sleep.

A game to play before we sleep.

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Regular season play begins tomorrow. Are you ready?


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important things

In light of my recent book of the month post, I’ve been thinking a lot about my take away: all you have is time, be patient.

For me, I think this really fits well into my life and is something I’d like to focus on. Thinking of this idea reminded me of a Brian Andreas quote:

“Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in life.”

 

 


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sick

Remember how I told you that I got a new job? Well, it’s time for another hint about what it is I do: I work with children. I’ve been at my new job for approximately six weeks now, and I have been sick twice. Small children are good at being sick, and apparently so am I.

As I was less than thrilled about being sick again, I tried to look at it in a positive light. Take it as a learning experience. Of course, being the generous person I am, I wanted to share these things I have learned, so that you will also have more information about being sick. (Who doesn’t need that?)

  1. If someone throws up on you, it is likely you will become sick. The story behind this is simple. A small child threw up on me. I got sick. What I have learned: Avoid being thrown up on.
  2. Do not get Vick’s VapoRub in your eye. While Vick has clearly learned the secret of the Gods, and has been blessed with the ability to concoct their Godly salve, it is not meant for in-eye-use. I’m sure Vick has written this somewhere in the fine print. What I have learned: Apply VapoRub with caution.
  3. While tea with honey and lemon is a great way to feel better when you’re sick, an even better way is to add some whiskey into the mix. Evelina learned this as an old family secret passed down from generation to generation, and now she has passed that on to me. It tastes absolutely wonderful (is it just me?) and will help you get better quicker. Proven fact. What I have learned: Whiskey makes it better.

Now, go! Take this new-found glorious information with you as you make your way through the world! If all else fails, stick with number three.